Welcome to fictional life. I am Spoonman.
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| Believe
it or don't. And you, porcupine feathers on a goose down brick,
you eyeball pup tents on pineapple suction toast, you shake and
bake flystrips on a Connie Chung dogleash, who are you? |
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Look
around. One thing is certain, Everybody here was once baby. Everybody
here began as burning desire that rocked loins of dear old mum
and dad, Everybody here was once soft little turtle muffin that
slipped its way into life and began to crawl, to get the hell
away from fleshy cage that was mom and dad. And maybe you get
pretty far, but then one day burning desire comes to call and
pretty soon loins are rocking, joint is jumping, doors are flying
open. and suddenly new little turtle muffin, or two or three or
who knows how many little turtle muffins slip out and begin to
crawl, to get the hell away from dear old mum and dad, except
this time you are mum and you are dad. Oh, irony of ironies.
So it is that quick hare-brain thinks it can somehow escape slow
crawl of turtle muffin advance. For short time perhaps, but in
the end, turtle muffin always wins. Spoonman knows this because
he is father to Teaspoon.
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| I
was born in the Ural Mountains, on border between Europe and Asia.
My mother was of Finno-Tartar people, sometimes called "Yak People".
Not too many left. Beautiful place, Ural Mountains, but the winters
are long, and snow does not melt until June. We survive long winter
by eating goat cheese we make in summer months. When old grandfathers
would die, we would scoop out their insides and use them for bobsled.
Much fun we had. It was in those long nights of darkness, that dream
of COBRA LOUNGE first visited young
Spoonman. |
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| COBRA
WOMAN: "So how do you be domestic and honest at the same time? I
don't know. How do you keep from feeling vengeful when 600 pounds
of push and shove tries to stomp you into the dirt? Someone has
to DO something. Sometimes, I just do. It hasn't made for a happy
home life. I've buried ten husbands. Unlucky in love, I guess. Sometimes,
I get sad about that. They were each great though. Special in their
own way. I'm a sucker for talent. You got talent? Good. Sex appeal?
You hold onto it. You enjoy what you have and maybe tonight, if
spirit is willing, you will shed some skin, and dance with the Cobra."
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| "Some
people live by chance. Spoonman lives by choice. He knows there
are no answers, but still he asks questions. It takes some courage
and some thick-headedness to keep asking questions when you know
all answers are approximate. Point is to experience what you can,
as specifically as possible. There will be time later for iced tea
and recollections. For now, taste it all; climb tall trees, smell
the air, walk the Earth like extinct but proud beast, find trusty
tool of choice and brandish it whenever welcoming or waving goodbye
to all things passing by on burning river of dreams." |
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Spoonman
speaks!
Spoon Call